I prefer the company of men because I find women catty, bitchy, and two faced…
I have lost count of the number of women I have heard make this statement. I have made this statement.
I had myself convinced for years that WOMEN in general are a problem and difficult to deal with.
- They will down cry the work that I do.
- They will smile to my face while saying negative things about me to other people.
- They don’t think I am good enough.
- They want to see me fail.
Now do not get me wrong I have had A LOT of experience of taking this type of shit from other women.
I had it in high school when girls would ask me to do ten back-flips, because it was cool and then I would hear them call me a show off. Girls who would cheer me on because I would play football and then in the same breath call me a slag for being in guys company all lunchtime.
I have had women at work smile when my first company car was delivered ‘Well done Lisa, don’t usually see the women getting a car, that’s great.’ All the while slating me for daring to wear a pencil dress and five inch heels to the office. As Erin Brockovich once proudly said ‘as long as I have one ass and not two i’ll wear what I like…’
Women who would question the fact that I made my way up from reception to a divisional managers role… How the fuck can she do that? She must have been being nice to someone… Maybe I asked questions, worked hard, and tried like fuck to learn everything I could from anyone who would give me the time of day! I was there with an answer or an opinion and ready to learn more…
I worked in construction, so to pretend that having nice boobs never ever helped me get a meeting would be both stupid and untrue…
But they never got me into the next meeting. The meeting that was to secure contracts or the opportunity to bid a job or got me sat in Edinburgh with a consultant for the biggest job in Scotland discussing technologies that my business could install – I DID THAT! I sorted that, I made those connections, I worked my ass off!
but I digress…
The women who called me down and made out that there was some superficial reason for any success I achieved, are the same type of people who sit looking people up and down and passing judgement on them as they enter a room.
They are the women who decide on a whim that someone is worthy or not worthy of their attention based upon how THEY think ‘someone should look or act or be…
The women that are talking about how someones else has too much make-up, or not enough make-up, that someone else is too fat or too thin or two loud or two quiet. These are women who aren’t happy in themselves. I don’t mean that they think they are ugly by definition BUT they are not happy in their own life.
Look I am not saying that I am immune from muttering under my breath about the length of someones skirt when they walk passed me or that I don’t have negative thoughts or that I have never said anything bad about women in my life. I have!
However I check myself for it. I am aware when I do something I don’t like seeing myself do. I try and be honest with the women that surround me. I try to communicate what my issues with them are, and leave it at that! That is it. They aren’t my best friend but we can rub by next to each other without bringing each other down. I don’t have to pretend otherwise or smile to their face while calling them out to other people.
It doesn’t need to be said, it doesn’t need to be done! It is hard enough dealing with our own thoughts about not measuring up without letting other people get in your head!!
If you don’t like someone else, or you don’t like their decisions, their choices, their attitudes. It really is very simple YOU DON’T LIVE HOW THEY LIVE!! Live your own life. Do your own thing. Embrace your own self but if the only way you can embrace yourself is to down cry others, the problem is in fact YOU!!
The thing I have come to realise lately is that I have been WRONG for a long time. WOMEN are not bitchy, two faced and catty. ASS-HOLES are bitchy, two faced and catty.
It is up to me to surround myself with women who are encouraging and supportive, thoughtful and interested in seeing people make positive changes in their lives.
I worked with plenty of males who were catty, bitchy, and two faced – HUNDREDS of them over the last decade. I have just chosen now to make it so that these ass-holes do not get into my bubble.
They don’t exist any more, they do not impact on my day, my thoughts, my choices or more importantly how I feel about myself and my achievements.
They say that, ‘you are what you eat’ and I think it is also true ‘you become what surrounds you….’
If you surround yourself with women/men/ass-holes who are catty, bitchy and two-faced judging everyone and everything around them then that is what will shape your view of the world. It is what will drive your mindset and the way you approach your day and your life. If you surround yourself with those who want to see you do well and who will lift you up and encourage you to be the best version of yourself you automatically want to do better and be happy pushing yourself.
I guess my full point here is, women are not the problem. YOU ARE!
OK there are plenty of women that are catty bitchy two faced ass-holes but they are not the majority. Or they are certainly not the majority that I deal with in my life.
Being completely honest if I hadn’t been open to the support of other women in the last four months. I would have likely given up.
The amount of love and support and sharing of everything I am doing didn’t come from the people I had imagined would have been signing my praises. It didn’t come from those who ‘tell’ me how much they support me. The true love and encouragement and sharing of my work came from women I barely know from around the world!
WOMEN that I haven’t spoken to since school telling me things they admire about me and about how I give them hope that they can achieve their own goals?? ME!!!
These are the PEOPLE I will be talking to, these are the people I will be working with, these are the people who made me stop and finally get over this stupid idea that women are by design catty, bitchy and two faced. It is an idea that is destructive and stupidly perpetuated by women to hold each other back.
Stop letting it happen, stop looking for the fault and even if you do find fault, keep it to yourself. Its a cliche but it is true, ‘if you are not part of the solution you are most certainly part of the problem…’
OH OH OH and if you ever ever find yourself wanting to come and tell me about how someone was bitching or talking about me behind my back, I will not have an issue with them, they can clutter up their day thinking negatively about me if they like, that is not my business.
HOWEVER what I will be asking YOU about is why this person is so comfortable down crying me in your company 🙂
Great blog it’s so important to know that whatever annoys you about someone is usually a reflection of you!
I do prefer the company of a male enviroment but that’s only because of the banter!
When feeling insecure etc that’s a clear indication that you need to work on loving and appreciating yourself!
Thank you Sharon! Banter is always good ☺️
I feel like women have been taught how to do this. Not necessarily out right direct, but we see it in actions from the time we are young to we are grown. At school, in movies.. I pretty much got called a Misogynist once because I made the comment that women are catty, but why would I deny that? We have been taught to be like this. Not saying that men can’t either, but truthfully it is different with men. I am not a woman hater just because I can see how some women are like this. Anyway, the girls in the group pretty much started attacking me… I think because what I said hit a nerve. I think we should be able to admit that we have acted like this at some point in our life and not get offended. I know I have. Jealousy sucks. Low self esteem sucks. We can learn to break the cycle though. It just takes time.
Love your insight Chasa! I do agree it is learned behaviour that we can only change and move forward from by acknowledging it and moving forward!
Thank you for taking the time to read 💕
Your writing is amazing! And this piece went a total opposite direction than those first sentences!! I thought I wouldn’t be able to relate but it allll resonated
YEAH!! That’s what I’m talking about! I like to keep it interesting! Thanks for taking the time out to read 💕